Wednesday, September 16, 2015

The Gender Tag

I saw Dodger do the gender tag in a video on her YouTube channel and I thought it was such an interesting idea that I wanted to do it.  So many people are coming out as transgender and what have you that I think it's important to have an open discussion about it.  Here is the original video.  So here are my answers.

The Gender Tag Prompts

1. How do you self-identify your gender, and what does that definition mean to you?

I think that... there's a difference between sex and gender.  Sex, to me, is whether you have a penis or a vagina.  But I think gender is more of a social construct that determines maybe what clothes you wear, your personality, if you wear make-up, what you like to do.  I don't always agree with gender as a social construct but it's how our society works, unfortunately.

I am a female physically and mentally.

2. What pronouns honor you?

I go by the female pronoun she.

3. Describe the style of clothing that you most often wear.

I am the kind of girl who is so unconcerned with what I'm wearing...  I habitually leave the house in a t shirt and Cookie Monster fuzzy pajamas.  I'm a big fan of plain t shirts and pajama bottoms.  Comfort is my number 1.

4. Talk about your choices with body hair. How do you style your hair? Do you have facial hair? What do you choose to shave, or choose not to shave?

I keep my hair about to my shoulders.  It used to be really long but I appreciate short hair.  It's so much easier to take care of.  As for body hair, I shave all of it.  I shave my legs, my crotch, my pits, the whole shebang.  It's not that I'm embarrassed by it.  I go out in shorts with hairy legs all the time.  It's just more physically comfortable to not have hair.  Like laying down and feeling leg hair rubbing on the sheet is SO uncomfortable.  I like the feel of smooth skin.

5. Talk about cosmetics. Do you choose to wear makeup? Do you paint your nails? What types of soaps and perfumes do you use if any?

I'm not a huuuge makeup wearer but I do think it's fun to play with.  I can't paint my nails because of where I work.  Sad drawer of nail polish not being used.  Id on't use much perfume because it makes my head hurt but when I do it's usually a citrus scent.  I love citrus and I have a bottle of lemon perfume that my mom got me once because I tried it in Bath and Body Works and she knew I liked it.  I sometimes wear that and I swear I smell like how a lemon drop tastes.  I love using different types of soap.  I like using artisan handmade soap because it's just fun.

6. Have you experienced being misgendered? If so, how often?

Thankfully I haven't ever experienced this, mostly because I've always "looked" like a girl.  Except when a bunch of neighborhood boys dared me to chop off all my hair when I was 5 but you could still tell I was a girl.

7. Do you experience dysphoria? How does that affect you?

I don't experience nor have I ever experienced dysphoria.  I've always known I was a girl inside and out.

8. Talk about children. Are you interested in having children? Would you want to carry a child if that were an option for you? Do you want to be the primary caretaker for any children you may have?

I'm gonna be real here.  I hate kids and I don't want any.  That's about it.

9. Talk about money. Is it important to you to provide for a family financially if you choose to have one? Is it important to you that you earn more than any partner you may have? Do you prefer to pay for things like dates? Are you uncomfortable when others pay for you or offer to pay for you?

I want to be able to take care of myself.  I see my mom struggle with money and I never want to be in that position so I save money in an account.  I don't really care if I earn more than a partner or not, just as long as I can pay for my own shit.  I am totally ok with people paying for me.  Like I'll pay but if someone's like no no I'll pay I'll be like wooo you go for it.

10. Anything else you want to share about your experience with gender?

I had a lot of dude-ish hobbies when I was little.  I loved video games and Hot Wheels and action figures.  But I also had quite a collection of My Little Ponies and Bratz dolls so I had a good variety.  I think that I'm grateful for the fact that no one told me I couldn't play video games or have Hot Wheels just because I was a girl.  Everyone let me just do what I wanted and never push anything on me and let my interests grow really organically.  I'm really lucky for that and I wish more people had the openness I got to have.

Friday, September 4, 2015

The Week in Review

My first week of school has come and gone.  The beginning was absolutely shitty but it's gotten better. My dog is doing better now, after getting her medication for a few days.  I have my classes arranged so I'll always have Friday off and at most 3 hours of class any other day.  I'm one of those people who gets antsy when I'm not home.  My room is my happy place.

Game-wise, I feel like it's been productive.  I finished up Draenor Pathfinder (courtesy of Medallions of the Legion) a couple days before the patch came out, and let me tell you it's nice to fly.  I already picked up the new pets from the rares in the non-instanced version of Highmaul.  I went around killing them for a few circuits but when no pets dropped I ended up just buying them.  I'm a big fan of instant gratification.

I was feeling productive so I decided to get a couple more things done.  I finally got my ass out to Vash'jir to finish up that zone.  I had about 30 quests done so I had 100 more to go.  It took me a few hours but I got it done and FINALLY finished up the Loremaster meta.  Unfortunately the tabard is butt ugly.  Because I had no need for it anymore, I uninstalled Grail and Loremaster.  I have way too many addons, and some of them have a very specific purpose.

I decided to go out to Dalaran and see if I could knock out Higher Learning, but I only found 1 book.  I looked to see which treasures I still need from Pandaria and it turned out I have them all already so I uninstalled the Pandaria treasures addon too. So now I'm down to 55.  It's nice to downsize isn't it?

*I edited my review of Lethis - Path of Progress, reflecting a comment made by a dev.

Tuesday, September 1, 2015

The Day of Shit

Yesterday was the first day of the new semester.

It was not a good day.

I had all intentions of making it a good day.  I showered and scrubbed myself and shaved the night before.  I washed my bedding and cleaned my floor.  This stuff doesn't really have anything to do with school but it gives me a fresh mindset and having a clean environment just makes it easier for me to think.

I went to be nice and early so I'd be bright eyed and bushy tailed for class the next day.  It was not to be.

My chihuahua is 20 years old and she kept me up all night whining and screaming.  I was about ready to lock her in the basement.  Earplugs did not work.  I tried letting her out and feeding her, and then I gave her some dog aspirin and nothing helped.  So yesterday morning I took her to the vet.  He said her heart isn't beating like it should, her shoulders and back legs are shot, she has arthritis, and probably dementia.  He prescribed Tramadol and Previcox for her and pretty much the only thing that can be done is just make her comfortable.

I was afraid he'd suggest we put her down.  I really hope the medication helps.  But after that I had class at 12:20 so I went to class, tired as all hell, and sat for three hours.  The whole time I was yawning.

I feel like yesterday was a big fuck you from the universe to me.  I tried to make it a good day.

Right now my chihuahua is pacing around crying even though I just gave her a dose of pain meds.  It's hard to watch her.  I've had her since I was about 6.  She was my best friend when I didn't have any human ones.  It's just sad for me, like the end of an era.  An era of sleep.  An era of coming home and being greeted by my little girl.  Even though I still have 2 other dogs besides her it's not the same.  I'm scared I'll wake up and she'll be dead.

So I got home, went to bed, and didn't get up until 4 am today when I heard her whining again and gave her another dose of her medication.  I feel helpless.  What the fuck else am I supposed to do?  I have another class in an hour and a half and I'm a little sleepy but I got like 12 hours of sleep so I have higher hopes for today.

Today patch 6.2.1 drops in WoW.  I'm excited about it.  Flying will make life easier when in Tanaan and getting to pet tamers so that'll be good.